T.Q.D: T.Q.D's Corner

This album holds a special place in my heart, but probably not for the reason Tim Dog intended.

For the uninitiated, Tim Dog is a rapper from the South Bronx, who began his career in the late 80s and debuted in 1991 with the album I'm discussing: Penicillin On Wax.  Once upon a time, he was given the nickname "the 5th member of Ultramagnetic MCs", because he performed live with them on many occasions and has collaborated with members from time to time over the years.  Now that we got that out of the way, let's get in to the album.

Penicillin On Wax documents Tim Dog's disdain for certain elements that were going on in the world of Hip Hop at that time (some of which still exist today).  More specifically, he was a New York rapper unhappy with the influx of generic gangsta rap (specifically he calls out the post-Ice Cube version of N.W.A. and DJ Quik a lot) coming from the West Coast having lots of commercial success, while many other rappers from the East went unnoticed.  And of course, he had a problem with Pop Rap.  Not to mention, he just has some straight up battle rap and a few other things mixed in between.

As hinted above, much like people forget Talib Kweli declared Hip Hop dead years before Nas (see: Reflection Eternal's Train Of Thought), people forget that Tim Dog technically threw the first stone in the now infamous East vs. West craziness of the 90s.  It's just that the messenger wasn't famous enough for as many people to care just yet.

This album, as noted in the subject line, is in my humble opinion: the dopest wack Hip Hop album of all time.  Tim Dog was never known as a dope rapper.  Everyone (myself included) knew he was wack/average at best.  But why do I talk about him 19 years later?  Well, because this album is just that entertaining anyways.  The rhetoric is so over the top, but what makes it entertaining was that he was dead serious.

There are good rappers who make boring albums.  How many skilled rappers make snooze-worthy albums because they think their skill is so vast that beat quality and song structure are ignored?  Wack rappers who make intolerable music are in abundance more than ever, but there are bad rappers who occasionally make an otherwise bad song entertaining anyways.  However, never before or since has it been sustained for a whole album.  Livin' Proof by Group Home is the only one that comes close.  The beats on this album are amazing to say the least.  A better rapper could've rhymed over these beats, but I honestly wonder if the album would be as entertaining.

Without further ado, I present the song by song commentary of Tim Dog's Penicillin On Wax...

1. "Intro"

Tim Dog jacks the beat from "Kamurshol" by N.W.A. (see: 100 Miles And Runnin') for the sole purpose of telling us how much he hates them.  He also references, the first of what seems to be a million times, Dr. Dre's assaulting of Dee Barnes (then host of Fox's 'Pump It Up' tv show and member of the now defunct duo Body & Soul)...but hey, assaulting a woman is certainly a good reason to dislike someone, so whatever.

2. "Low Down N----"

The beat is crazy.  I love it.  Tim Dog's delivery...well, that's questionable.  He tries to go all Big Daddy Kane on us in the way he tries to twist some lines, but is only semi-successful.  This song finds him talking smack about the industry and of course names N.W.A.

3. "Robin Harris Skit"

A sample of the late comedian Robin Harris talking about why he doesn't like Compton is used.  This leads us to...

4. "Fuck Compton"

The song, as the title may suggest, is not actually dissing the city...just rappers from it.  This is by far, the most memorable song on the album.  For all of Tim Dog's lack of mic skill, this is by far one of the best diss tracks in Hip Hop history: highly entertaining.  The line about Michel'le is priceless.  Not to mention, one of the great bad lines ever "I'm so bad I'll whip Superman's ass!".  I laughed out loud when I first heard it (still do), mainly because you know Tim was dead serious in his delivery of the line.  Regardless, N.W.A. and DJ Quik were the named targets (no one names names in Hip Hop anymore).   Tim Dog also makes sure to let us know the Ice Cube and Ice-T are the two rappers that he thinks are dope, thus are exempt from his anger.

Dr. Dre, MC Eiht, DJ Quik, and a few others responded to this one: the most famous being "Fuck Wit Dre Day".

5 "DJ Quik Beat Down"

This skit plays exactly like it reads.  We hear a DJ Quik impostor getting beat for 20 seconds and it's over.  So pointless, yet that's what makes it so funny.

6. "Step To Me" 

This could easily be called "Fuck Compton Part 2", because it walks along the same territory.  The beats is crazy and features a Talking Heads sample ("Once In A Lifetime").  If you analyze the rhymes literally, we're led to believe that the real beef he has is with Eazy-E, Dr. Dre and DJ Quik.  He claims to have no beef with MC Ren, but still says his rhymes are whatever and once again exempts Ice-T and Ice Cube from any criticism.  Like "Fuck Compton", this is one of the best (or at least most entertaining) battle raps of all time.  Not to mention, Tim Dog, in terms of mic skills, actually turns in some quality lines on this one.

7. "Phone Conversation w/ Reporter"

Like the DJ Quk skit, this one is short and pointless...however this one is just lame.  Skip.

8. "Bronx N----"

Tim Dog takes a break from bashing N.W.A, to attempt a story telling rap.  The actually events depicted, rival the realism of a B-action movie, but who said all stories have to be real.  The hook is lame, but the verses from a skill point of view aren't too bad. 

And like damn near every beat on the album, this one bangs.  Can we get an instrumental full length of Penicillin On Wax please?

9. "You Aint Shit"

This song is talking smack about non-deserving unskilled pop rappers making it big.  Funny, many indie rappers to this day, build their careers on making countless tunes from that same "original" premise many years later...but I digress.  Young MC, Kid N Play, Kwame are called out specifically.  For whatever reason, MC Hammer is only halfway dissed.  He calls him a "wack ass rapper, but a dope ass dancer".  Come on Tim, it's MC Hammer.  Go all in.

10. "I Aint Takin' No Shorts"

Tim takes break to do a subpar Chuck D impression and comment on the ills of society.  Oh well, this beat bangs and sounds in the vein of The Bomb Squad.

11. "NFL Shit"

A sportscaster sound bite telling us that the NY Giants beat the SF 49ers in a football game...sounds like a subtle (and hilariously lame) West Coast diss.

12.  "I'll Wax Anybody"

As the title suggests, Tim Dog really does attempt to wax anybody.  Disses are thrown at just about everything and everybody.  Eddie Murphy and Monie Love are called out by name...and of course N.W.A.  "Nautilus" by Bob James is sampled for the millionth time in Hip Hop (look it up), but is sampled nicely here too.  Tim Dog doesn't sound bad or good, just entertaining.

13. "Michel'le Conversation"

A Michel'le impostor interrupts Tim Dog in studio to let him know she didn't appreciate the reference on "Fuck Compton".  He then proceeds to use the Dee Barnes incident to do some "I can treat you better than him" macking.  The skit is lame, but is memorable for the fact that I wasn't sure anyone else had the chipmunk/mouse voice that Michel'le had.  I know it was an impostor, but I'd prefer to believe otherwise.

14. "Can't Fuck Around"

This is the first dud beat of the album.  The sample is the same and used the same way as "Warm It Up Kane" by Big Daddy Kane.  This can't help, but make me compare Tim Dog's rapping to that of Kane's...which Kane easily wins.

15.  "Dog's Gonna Getcha"

Oh My God!  First off, this beat bangs.  Secondly, this is hands down the FUNNIEST song in the history of Hip Hop.  However, why I find this funny is probably not for reasons Tim Dog would like.  This song is macho posturing at it's most cartoon-ish.  The barrage of threats and rhyme skills are just downright laughable.  It's basically 3 minutes of grunts and threats.  I can't really describe it further.  You have to just hear this one for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STJLbUpGZpw

16. "Going Wild In The Penile"

Tim Dog takes a break from the West bashing to attempt another story rap about time in prison.  The beat is a dud.  The rhymes obviously are a dud (though he has a couple nice lines) too.  Skip.

17. "Get Off The Dick"

This song was the obligatory gold diggers jam that was all the rage (popularized by EPMD's "Gold Digger") in the early 90s.  The beat is dope once again.  The rapping on "Fuck Compton" is bad, but entertaining.  The rapping on "Get Off The Dick" is just bad...although the message is great and timeless.

18. "I Aint Havin' It"

Tim Dog gets away from the serious messages and gets back to battle rap.  Kool Keith joins in and outshines Tim Dog, which wasn't tough to do.  Tim Dog, once again, stays entertaining even though he's not that good.  And I've said like a broken record, the beat is damn good.

19. "Patriotic Pimp"

The title itself is intriguing.  I'd argue this is one of the great song titles in history.  The beat bangs once again.  Tim Dog is hella basic, but once again comes with some unintentionally funny rhymes.  He attempts to twist a few lines in the Big Daddy Kane style which is so-so in excutuion, but the effort is there.

20. "Secret Fantasies (feat. Kool Keith)."

I'm convinced the studio engineer must have burst a blood vessel trying to withhold laughter when this song was recorded.  This song is just bad all around.  The corniness of this song gets me to laugh profusely, but I highly doubt too many people could make it all the way through this one.  How this song was created with a straight face puzzles me. 

...and there you have it.  Did Tim Dog have mic skills?  Once in a while, but not really.  Could he entertain?  Absolutely.  My main gripe is that we've never been treated to an instrumental version of this album.  These beats are amazing.  I will argue with a straight face that Penicillin On Wax is one of Hip Hop's top 10 best produced albums, if we're just talking strictly beats. 

As a rapper, Tim Dog was and remained over the years, rather basic.  Oh well, even though he was dead serious, that's what actually makes it funny and entertaining.  Let this be a lesson to you wack rappers.  Just because you aren't very good doesn't give you an excuse not to entertain.  And let's be real, good rappers can be boring (see dime-a-dozen skilled mixtape rapper who thinks beats and hooks don't matter).  If Tim Dog can be entertaining, so can you.